I’ve been a parent for almost 14 years now. And I have one piece of advice for you.

Stop beating yourself up for not being perfect.

You will never be the perfect parent. Even Jesus got upset with God at one point. I mean, seriously. The parent of all parents was on His kid’s shit list. I think that’s reason enough to cut yourself some slack.

I get it. I do. With social media and Pinterest in everything now it’s hard not to compare ourselves to other parents. But remember this: Facebook is literally the best parts of what someone chooses to post . You are looking at the edited highlights reel of someone’s life. If all I saw of someone was the best of the best with honors I would feel a little inadequate as well. 

That’s how I came up with Train Wreck Mom. I’m not perfect. I don’t even pretend to be. My life is a train wreck with a few what the fuck moments thrown in for variety. And I think people need to understand that it is totally ok to be 40 and still not have your shit together. 

I’m not a perfect parent. I feed my son chicken nuggets and French fries on a regular basis because that’s what he eats and I can’t handle him being hungry. I also let my teen shave her head and dye her hair purple because I don’t want to stifle her creativity. 

What I am perfect at is loving my kids. I’m pretty sure you’re perfect at loving your kids, too. Even if they’re grown up with kids of their own. That’s what good parents do. 

So you may not have them in the most expensive school. And you may not have them in every athletic program available. But I’m pretty sure you tuck them in at night, even if you get home after they go to bed. Because you know it won’t be long until their beds and rooms are empty and all you’ll have are the memories.

Stop trying to be Facebook and Pinterest perfect. That’s all smoke and mirrors. He’ll, isn’t that why there are filter and makeup apps? To make it look like we try? There is no filter on parenting. No cute puppy dog or glitter filter makes scooping a poop out of the bath glamorous. That’s ok. Because while those people are so focused on getting the perfect shot, you’ll be making messy memories with your kids. 

I don’t usually give parenting advice but I will say this is one piece everyone should listen to. And that includes you backseat parents. You know who you are. Those that have no kids but somehow osmotically you know all the best techniques to make any kid listen and obey. Yeah, I’m talking to you. You’re not a perfect patent either, so go mind your own nevermind. And may you be blessed with five kids just like you.

For the rest of you glorious train wrecks, what make you perfect is your love for your babies. Not the cookie monster cupcakes or the matching Easter pictures. Not sleeping through the night by two weeks old or fourteen scholarships. What makes you perfect as a parent is your love. 

Be the best train wreck parent you can be and love your babies perfectly.