I’m scared. A lot more times than I’d like to admit. And I worry. Probably more than is healthy. Definitely about more things than I should. I think about things I’ve said and done in the past, the instances of excited utterances that hurt feelings and friendships.  “What if” plays in my head like the catchy tune of a commercial stuck in a Mobius loop.
I worry if I’m damaging my children in irreparable ways that only their therapist will break through to at age 30. I worry if I’ll have one more year before I see my friends and family in Philly.
A lot of what plays in my head is completely irrational and I know it. I know everyone in Walmart is not staring at me and my screaming, exhausted toddler. But it feels like it. I’m afraid to drive because one time I backed into a lady’s car.
So what, right? I’ve taken a leap. It’s pretty huge. I was selling the wraps. I let fear take over. I became scared to talk to people. It got so bad I would throw up for days. I spoke to someone else about the anxiety, I never even knew that’s what it was called. There are several leaders using social media and succeeding at this business. So I jumped in.
Why do you care? I’m here to tell you it’s going to be ok. Yeah, it is all in your head. That doesn’t make it less scary or less real. But you can work around it and maybe even beat it.